Text to text
by Jayno
Summary: Third in texting series between Kurt and Blaine Anderson-Hummel
1. Emergency!

Hi guys. I have been away for way too long. What with real life, a surgery, a cancer scare, finding out its not cancer, work and a relationship ending. It's been chaos. I feel so glad to be back. I have missed writing about these boys. This is the third in the text series (although they can be read individually.) The first being Textathon and the second being Unlimited text. Still don't own Glee or these two. As always Blaine in **bold** and Kurt in _italics._ Enjoy.

 **Kurt! It's an emergency. Life or death... We're out of milk.**

 **Babe?**

 **Kurt.**

 **Sweetie?**

 **Mr Anderson-Hummel!**

 **Kurrrrrrrt?**

 _Yes?_

 **I sent all those texts and all I get is a one word response? Hmf.**

 _What would you prefer instead? A 2000 word essay?_

 **In triplicate? ;)**

 _Ummmmm? *thinking* No._

 **Damn. Well I tried.**

 **Seriously though we're out of milk.**

 _Blaine you text me an hour ago to say we had no milk. You could have gone and got some by now. You could have gone and gotten ALL the milk. ALL THE MILK Blaine._

 **All the milk?**

 _Well. Most of it at least._

 **Kurt I don't think we could afford ALL the milk in New York. That's a lot of milk.**

 _You're right we couldn't afford it but it would have been enough time for you to carry all the milk from it's current location to our house._

 **Are you suggesting I steal all the milk?**

 _No. Not at all._

 **Because that's a lot of milk.**

 _It is._

 **Gasp. You are aren't you?**

 _I'm suggesting no such thing._

 **Implying then. What will Burt and Carole say?**

 _That their son in law is being silly. Again._

 **I have no idea what you are talking about and I find your tone offensive.**

 _How do you know my tone Blaine? You can't hear me._

 **Oh but I can. I can always hear your voice.**

 _I don't know if I should be flattered or freaked out. ;)_

 **Go with flattered.**

 _Done. How's the milk situation?_

 **Critical. I don't know if I'll make it.**

 _I thought I was the dramatic one._

 **Tell my husband I love him.**

 _I am your husband._

 **Oh. Well. This is awkward.**

 _You're an idiot._

 **Yes. But I'm your idiot.**

 _:) Yes you are. I love you_

 **Love you too.**

 **Would love you more if you came home with milk.**

 _How rude. There's almond milk._

 **Gross. Yuck.**

 _Very mature._

 **Thanks. :D**

 _Why'd I marry you again?_

 **Something about love of your life and soulmates or something. Not sure I wasn't really paying attention.**

 _*Eye roll.* Liar._

 **Liar. Is a little too harsh. I prefer extender of the truth.**

 _So a fancy way of saying liar?_

 **Potato, potahto.**

 _I do love potatoes._

 **Starchy goodness.**

 _I gotta go. Next class is about to start._

 **Stage fighting right?**

 _You memorised my schedule?_

 **Yep.**

 _So cute. Okay sweetie. Talk soon. Love you._

 **Love you too.**

 **You're in class now aren't you?**

 _Class just finished._

 **How'd it go?**

 _Pretty well. It was a theory class so no sweating. Yay. Milk update?_

 **No change.**

 _Really? Sweetie what have you been doing all day?_

 **Well I made the bed after you left, cleaned the bathroom. Started making breakfast. Realised there was no bread, when to the store for bread. Came home, made toast, realised no milk for coffee. Texted you and lamented lack of milk.**

 _Soooo. You've already been to the store today?_

 **Yes.**

 _Why don't you just go back?_

 **That's just it. I've already been. They've SEEN ME. I can't go back. Not today.**

 _Sweetie I am sure it happens all the time. People forgetting something and having to go back. It's no big deal._

 **It's embarrassing!**

 _Blaine. They probably won't even remember._

 **What if they do?**

 _Then they do. You laugh it off, get milk and go back home. You can do this._

 **I am being a little silly aren't I?**

 _Only a little._

 **Sigh. Okay I'll go back.**

 _Good luck!_

 _Soooooo how'd it go?_

 **It went well. I got milk.**

 _And did they remember you?_

 **Yep.**

 _Well you are hard to forget._

 **It's a blessing and a curse.**

 _I can only imagine it would be._

 **Please Kurt you are the most interesting man in all of New York.**

 _I thought I was the most interesting boy in all of Ohio._

 **That too.**

 _I can't be both._

 **Um. Yeah you can. You're Kurt Hummel you can be anything you want.**

 _Kurt Anderson-Hummel thank you._

 **Oh. Yes. Yes. Of course because you're my husband.**

 _And you're my husband._

 **:D Yaaaaaaay.**

 _Just got on the subway. Be home i half an hour._

 **Great. Can't wait.**

 **Oh and Kurt?**

 _Yes sweetie._

 **We're out of sugar.**

 _Oh my god! *face palm*_

That was chapter one. Let me know what you thought. See you soon **.**


	2. Boredom

Thanks to everyone who read, favourited and reviewed the last chapter. Sorry it's been so long. As ausual I own nothing. Kurt is in _italics_ and Blaine in **bold**. Enjoy

 _Can you die from boredom?_

 **Rachel?**

 _Argh yes. I love her but she's being going on and on about how the song she sung for her audition was played in the wrong key on purpose._

 **Was it?**

 _Probably not. Can you die from boredom?_

 _ **I guess if you did something to quell said boredom that ended in your demise then sure.**_

 _I just told her that if she was the professional she claimed she is then she could sing it in the key it was played and still do well._

 **Ouch!**

 _It was one step too low Blaine. Still well within her range._

 **Oh. Well. What's the problem then?**

 _I honestly don't know._

 **You'd think maybe she would have gotten less dramatic as we got older.**

 _She has a little I guess._

 **Really? How so?**

 _Well she doesn't walk around with duct tape on her mouth to protest Mr Shue's 'mistreatment' of her anymore so..._

 **Really? That was a thing?**

 _Oh yes._

 **Why?**

 _She didn't get the solo. I remeber Mercedes texted me about it._

 **So we were at Dalton?**

 _Uh-huh._

 **And I was still clueless.**

 _Probably._

 **HEY!**

 _Loooove yoooou._

 **There's still so much I don't know about you guys.**

 _So much you don't need to know sweetie, trust me._

 _Blaine it's Rachel. I borrowed Kurt's phone because I thought maybe you'd see reason. Do you think that the so called pianist at the audition_ _had the right to sabotage my audition?_

 **Rach. I doubt that is what he was trying to do.**

 _Argh. You sound just like Kurt._

 **Aw thanks. Thats the nicest thing you've ever said to me.**

 _What did you say to her?_

 **Ummm..**

 _Never mind I read the texts._

 **Is she angry?**

 _No. Just annoyed that the world doesn't see things her way. The world being her two 'favourite gays.'_

 **Why does she still call us that?**

 _Does it bother you?_

 **Not really. It's just it started as a joke and never really went away.**

 _She doesn't mean it in an offensive way._

 **I know. It's endearing... I guess. In a Rachel Berry kind of way. Just so you know you're my favourite gay. :D**

 _Good to know sweetie._

 **Am I your favourite?**

 _No my other husband is._

 **Kurt. I never knew.**

 _Idiot._

 **Is that his name? What does he look like? Could I take him in a fight?**

 **Wait don't answer that.**

 **Except the part about taking him in a fight. I used to box you know?**

 _I am sure you could take him. Being that he is imaginary and all._

 **Wait. You lied to me.**

 _:D Okay Rachel is driving me crazy. I'm heading home._

 **Ok. Artie and I just finished our COD marathon so I'll leave now.**

 _I have no idea what that is._

 **Call of Duty.**

 _Oh._

 **Still none the wiser huh?**

 _Pretty much. See you soon._

 **Ok baby. Subway safely. xx**

Thanks for reading.


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